Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (#2)

By R.A. Salvatore

THE SHORT

As R.A. Salvatore tries to rescue this mess of a film, he inadvertently dives too deep into the source material. This book is bogged down by the talk-y parts appearing in every single chapter. Too much time is dwelt of Anakin and Padme, unsuccessfully, as well as on Shmi Skywalker, to whom Salvatore devotes the first two chapters to. Also, the book is devoid of interesting things and action scenes, as after the speeder chase (which, by the way, was entirely boring and worthy of more than a few eye rolls), the next fight sequence doesn't occur until Obi-Wan engages Jango, more than THREE-QUARTERS into the book! From then on, it rushes towards the ending in a sped up version of the film. The only thing this book manages to capture in an original way is Jango's and Boba's relationship, and Boba kneeling beside his father's helmet is probably the most emotional moment in this novel. One grieves the lack of originality in Salvatore which was so abundant in Brooks.

THE REVIEW

First off, let's begin with the main trio, Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Padme Amidala. As usual, Obi-Wan is the most charismatic of them, as Anakin and Padme canoodle into each other in a forced love story. But more on that later. Obi-Wan is by far the most enjoyable character in this book, as Salvatore successfully manages to capture his playful yet stern character and put it into word form. However, one feels a bit let-down at the use of Obi-Wan, as he is shoved aside to make room for Padme and Anakin. Salvatore could have done so much with him, but his potential is lost. As for Anakin and Padme, no amount of excellent writing could make the love story between them true, but Salvatore certainly tries. While he does succeed to a certain extent, he limits himself by remaining within Lucas's view. As such, their relationship never takes off, and the part where Sola teases Padme about Anakin's feelings for her is so cheesy that it turns into some kind of middle school love story. Anakin's indecision between the light and the dark side, is, once again, oddly missing in this novel, except for when he kills the Tuskens. For these 2-dimensional film characters, Salvatore manages to balance them on their edge, but then they just fall flat on their faces.

Now for the main villains, Count Dooku, and, to a smaller extent, Jango Fett. Jango only appears to kill Zam Wesell, and then spends much of his time in Kamino, resulting probably the tensest exchange in Star Wars history, between himself and Obi-Wan Kenobi. Then he gets his head lopped off. Oh well. Count Dooku doesn't even show up until the book is nearly over, and this becomes a quickly zoomed through lightsaber duel, a few words with Darth Sidious, and then bam! Done until the next Star Wars. Again, these characters are, all too familiarly, undeveloped and un-fleshed out.

This leaves us with vague Yoda predictions about the dark side, over and over and over and over again! The enigmatic Yoda we all know and love from Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back is now just there to say some stuff so that we don't get bored. Mace Windu is only there to ask questions about the dark side that he really should know, and this bores the hell out of one. While Salvatore tries to bring these two great Jedi Masters into the picture, he really just can't do it, and they, too, flop uselessly on the page.

Oh, and there's Jar Jar Binks. WHY IS HE STILL IN THESE DANG THINGS?????????

So now let's move on to the pacing of this book. In this book, the pacing is so uneven, it plays slooooooooooooooooooow for a huge part of the book, dealing us some of the talk-iest bits of the Star Wars franchise, even more so than Brooks' novel (which was actually quite good), as Amidala sits and talks about politics. Yoda and Mace Windu sit and talk about the dark side. Anakin and Padme sit and talk about their feelings for each other. Count Dooku sits and talks about the separatist movement. Chancellor Palpatine sits and talks about the Republican Army. (By the way, how do they still not see he is the Sith Lord?) This continues for about half of the book, dragging its feet, becoming thoroughly unreadable in the process. And then, Salvatore ramps things up to a freaking glossed over Battle of Geonosis, which was supposed to be the climax of this thing! 

As it is, the Battle only happens in the last 50 or so pages, and the awesome duel between Yoda and Dooku in the film is dumbed down to a few paragraphs in the book, severely cutting off our source of enjoyment. Salvatore rushed too much, and so that epic tense moment when Yoda just whips out his lightsaber and just flicks it on is lost because Salvatore didn't have enough page space after Anakin and Padme. And then Salvatore just tries to finish it all off with an epilogue that isn't really an epilogue, more like a sneak preview of the next book. 

Now let's take a look at the plot. Almost wished I didn't. The plot is so complicated, and dumb, and idiotic that it leaves me saying "What? Who cares? Who? Separa-wha? Count who again?" Way too much time of this book is spent on boring stuff like Senate politics, Padme and Anakin's love story, the Chancellor, and Yoda-predictions (aka Yodictions). The plot is so severely flawed, that Salvatore didn't have time to even question the basics of his novel. Also, it is convoluted, what with political techniques, and enemies, and Trade Federations, and allies, and armies, and it all messes with your brain, until you really have to wonder if this really was the same guy who made your favourite three sci-fi films. Salvatore sadly suffers from a lack of originality, sticking much too close to the source material. Really, a good film adaptation should take a new spin on the film, but still staying close to the film itself. They said Dragon Ball Z: Evolution had nothing to do with the source material? Well this dang book has everything to do with it!

By now, the world-renowned exposition, climax and resolution plot device rather looks like this:

EEEEEEEXXXXXXXXPPPPPPPPPOOOOOOOSSSSIIIIIITTTTTTIIIIIOOOONNNNNNNN,
climax, resolution. Sigh.

At least Salvatore managed to capture the essence of Jango Fett and his relationship with Boba, being one of a proud and satisfied daddy. Salvatore managed to bring alive what George Lucas couldn't, the complex chemistry between a bounty hunter and his clone, fleshing it out beautifully, showing us the side of Jango we never knew, but not overdoing it like he did with Padme. As such, Boba kneeling on the grounds of Geonosis is the most powerful moment in this novel, bringing life to this film adaptation.

All in all, it's not for lack of trying that Salvatore failed. It's more to do with the fact that the source material wasn't that great to begin with. 8 out of 10 for effort, Salvatore, but as for the writing, there seems to be room for improvement.

Rating: 7.6/10
Advice: Someone cut out all the Jango and Boba scenes and make it into a short story. That would be so much better.

Well, a film can only be made good up to a certain extent. I regret this effort on Salvatore's part, but it just isn't enough to capture the essence of the original trilogy.

Next post: As I move from sci-fi to fantasy, come back next week as I journey to Shannara, in my review of The Sword of Shannara. I really haven't read this one yet, so I'm just as excited as you are to find out how it reads! Will it be a thrilling escape to a fantastic world, reminiscent of The Lord of the Rings yet subtly different enough? Or will it become a flop that will eventually fade into obscurity? Find out next week in my review of The Sword of Shannara!!!